Today was my mom's birthday, so I drove from Moorhead to Perham to surprise her. On the way back, I saw the same billboard that I always see outside of Detroit Lakes. And it always makes me feel the same way.
The billboard I saw was for Zorbaz, a pizza and Mexican food restaurant/bar. One side of the billboard has a man dressed up like a hippie and the words "nicely baked" in huge letters. This implies a pot reference. The other side has a tap beer and the words "one is the loneliest number you'll ever do". You need to have more than one beer. One beer isn't enough. You MUST binge drink.
Both of these signs fill me with disgust and sorrow. Growing up in a household with alcoholics and pot-heads, I know how torturous these common drugs can be. Why does culture have to glorify them?
Why do we have a culture that glorifies sin and not God's love? The high that Jesus gives us is so much greater than anything alcohol or pot can produce.
When I drank, alcohol would just draw me towards more sin. I would become filled with lustful thoughts. I'd want to eat even though I wasn't very hungry. I would become sad, either because the alcohol itself made me depressed or just amplified my preexistent depression. Either way, that should have been enough of a reason to stop, but it wasn't. Even after I woke up from a night of throwing up, falling over, and realizing that I'd done some pretty shameful things, I'd decide to drink again some other time.
The one time that I smoked weed, I was filled with similar thoughts, only happier. I was past my depression bu this point, but I still made terrible decisions.
Why does media feel the need to portray these destructive drugs in such a positive light. As social objects. As adventure starters. As tools for fun.
Why aren't they just show for what they are? Physical poison. Mental poison. Spiritual poison. Why do these substances get attention as the source of fun when they are the source of pain? Why do they get more exposure in our media than the only true source of love, Jesus?
Why do we continue to intentionally expose ourselves to this filth every single day? Why do we watch TV and movies about the adventures of druggies? Why do we listen to songs about drinking all day? Why do we read magazine articles about night clubs and the best-tasting mixed drinks? If we want to end the prevalence that these drugs have in our media, shouldn't we boycott the media that emphasizes them?
Shouldn't we replace these toxins with more positive media or no media at all? Imagine how much closer we could be to God if we spent our time absorbed in the media absorbing ourselves with Him.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Past Me
Last night, I was deleting old messages on Facebook. Messages dating as far back as before college. That's over a year and a half.
Seeing some of the messages brought back some old memories. Some of them very painful. Not painful because of what had been done to me, but painful because of what I had done to others.
I was reminded of the selfish way I used to act in relationships, only after what I wanted. I used women who had feelings for me. I wouldn't have feelings for them, but I'd lead them on so that I could have a relationship or so that I'd have someone to hold. I didn't care about what I did to them. I didn't care about toying with their emotions or leaving them heartbroken.
Not until they were already emotionally attached anyway. I would realize that I shouldn't be doing this. That it's not fair to them. After I'd led them on, then I'd realize my mistake and say that things should end. Then they would be heartbroken.
Wouldn't you be heartbroken if the person you gave yourself to emotionally and physically told you that they didn't want you?
It hurt me to remember these things, but I'm really thankful for it. It reminded me of how badly I need God and the forgiveness that Jesus's sacrifice brings. I did terrible things to people, even after I became a Christian.
I'm not perfect, but I'm realizing my mistakes and I'm progressing with the help of God.
Seeing some of the messages brought back some old memories. Some of them very painful. Not painful because of what had been done to me, but painful because of what I had done to others.
I was reminded of the selfish way I used to act in relationships, only after what I wanted. I used women who had feelings for me. I wouldn't have feelings for them, but I'd lead them on so that I could have a relationship or so that I'd have someone to hold. I didn't care about what I did to them. I didn't care about toying with their emotions or leaving them heartbroken.
Not until they were already emotionally attached anyway. I would realize that I shouldn't be doing this. That it's not fair to them. After I'd led them on, then I'd realize my mistake and say that things should end. Then they would be heartbroken.
Wouldn't you be heartbroken if the person you gave yourself to emotionally and physically told you that they didn't want you?
It hurt me to remember these things, but I'm really thankful for it. It reminded me of how badly I need God and the forgiveness that Jesus's sacrifice brings. I did terrible things to people, even after I became a Christian.
I'm not perfect, but I'm realizing my mistakes and I'm progressing with the help of God.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Irony
So, I'm writing this post at 2 am. Ironically to tell you that I realized today that I should go to bed earlier. I find myself plagued with negative thoughts and actions in the small hours of the morning.
Loneliness when nobody is around
Anger towards people for not being gone when they are around
Gluttony for food when I'm not even hungry or could wait until morning
Jealousy for what others have, usually towards my friends in relationships
Fear that I'll never be able to change or that my family will never commit themselves to Christ and will be doomed to a fate beyond imagination
Why can't I control myself? Why do I find myself not instantly turning to God about all of these things?
Prayers would be greatly appreciated.
Loneliness when nobody is around
Anger towards people for not being gone when they are around
Gluttony for food when I'm not even hungry or could wait until morning
Jealousy for what others have, usually towards my friends in relationships
Fear that I'll never be able to change or that my family will never commit themselves to Christ and will be doomed to a fate beyond imagination
Why can't I control myself? Why do I find myself not instantly turning to God about all of these things?
Prayers would be greatly appreciated.
If We are the Body
I was thinking today about the number of Christians in the world. There are over 2 BILLION people on this planet who will use the label of "Christian" as a descriptive word for themselves. 1/3 of the world's population. My question is why this number is only at 2 billion. Why isn't the number of Christians increasing in greater and greater quantities each day? We have 2 billion people who should be out there making disciples of all nations.
With this high of numbers, the Gospel could have been preached to all nations by now. There should be more believers. There should be fewer areas where Christians, or anybody for that matter, are persecuted and killed for their religious beliefs.
We should all have lost friends that need God's help. We should all be helping people realize that there is more to life than sin by preaching this and, more importantly, practicing what we preach. I don't even know how many times I've heard words like "mean" and "hypocrite" used to describe the Church as a whole. I know I'm guilty of being a hypocrite. I've been the pot calling the kettle black.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3)
We should all be leading others to Christ through our actions, not through our convicting words. Conviction is not our job. That job belongs to the Holy Spirit.
This is a reminder to all who read my blog, even if I'm the only person who ever sees this post.
Preach the Gospel through your actions, not just your deeds!! Actions speak louder than words. We need action, not empty words!! Show love, compassion. Pray that the Holy Spirit will give you these things. Pray for humility.
Most importantly, pray for change. In both yourself and in the world.
With this high of numbers, the Gospel could have been preached to all nations by now. There should be more believers. There should be fewer areas where Christians, or anybody for that matter, are persecuted and killed for their religious beliefs.
We should all have lost friends that need God's help. We should all be helping people realize that there is more to life than sin by preaching this and, more importantly, practicing what we preach. I don't even know how many times I've heard words like "mean" and "hypocrite" used to describe the Church as a whole. I know I'm guilty of being a hypocrite. I've been the pot calling the kettle black.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3)
We should all be leading others to Christ through our actions, not through our convicting words. Conviction is not our job. That job belongs to the Holy Spirit.
This is a reminder to all who read my blog, even if I'm the only person who ever sees this post.
Preach the Gospel through your actions, not just your deeds!! Actions speak louder than words. We need action, not empty words!! Show love, compassion. Pray that the Holy Spirit will give you these things. Pray for humility.
Most importantly, pray for change. In both yourself and in the world.
“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”
~ St. Francis of Assisi
Thursday, December 30, 2010
A Short Story of a Lonely Guy
Forgive me if this isn't the greatest. It's my first blog post ever.
I've been lonely for the past several days. Even when I've spent the entire afternoon or evening with friends, I'm lonely again within 15 minutes of them leaving.
Maybe it's because I've gotten so used to having 20 people in the living room, kitchen, Pastor Randy's office, and the bedrooms at midnight and now it's semester break and almost nobody is around.
Maybe I just crave company. It is natural. Genesis 2:18 even says "...it is not good that man should be alone...". Even with God around, we should still be around other people.
But the problem isn't that I'm spending time with God and I still feel lonely. The problem is that I, for some reason, won't spend time with God!! I don't know why. The thought has been in my mind all day. I thought about it the past several days. Friends have reminded me to spend time alone with Him when I feel like it. But I still find stuff to distract me.
I can be spending time with friends all day, but I still feel lonely.
Why?
Because I get distracted. I still spend too much time in earthly things. Video games, Facebook, movies, television, joking around with friends, laying around, doing nothing productive. They all distract me. I idolize them all. Satan has a grip on me, and that grip is a three-toed sloth. I can't motivate myself to do anything. I've been this way my entire life. The things that, at the end of the day, don't matter always win over the things that will be important later on. This isn't something that has developed since I became a believer. Even when I was Agnostic Jared with Kung-Fu grip, I would still put video games and TV before my homework, even though I saw education as my one ticket out of the world that I was in, the world I hated. Now, I find myself feeling down, lonely, but I still won't turn over to God.
I even wasted money today on video games at GameStop. More distractions. I bought a good 30-40 hours worth of time away from God today while at the mall.
I'm going to end up playing those games when I could be talking to God, reading my Bible, praising and worshiping, reading a book on God, getting to know my friends better, helping friends or complete strangers with problems, or anything else productive. Instead of spreading love or furthering my own knowledge, I'm going to be saving a Lego Lea from the clutches of the Empire. Why do I do this to myself?
I'm writing this to vent and to remind myself. I'm writing it in the hopes that I'll receive an epiphany while typing. But, I'm also hoping that you'll see this, talk to me, get to know me, help me, and be a reminder to me, someone to keep me accountable. Thank you for reading this, and God Bless you.
I've been lonely for the past several days. Even when I've spent the entire afternoon or evening with friends, I'm lonely again within 15 minutes of them leaving.
Maybe it's because I've gotten so used to having 20 people in the living room, kitchen, Pastor Randy's office, and the bedrooms at midnight and now it's semester break and almost nobody is around.
Maybe I just crave company. It is natural. Genesis 2:18 even says "...it is not good that man should be alone...". Even with God around, we should still be around other people.
But the problem isn't that I'm spending time with God and I still feel lonely. The problem is that I, for some reason, won't spend time with God!! I don't know why. The thought has been in my mind all day. I thought about it the past several days. Friends have reminded me to spend time alone with Him when I feel like it. But I still find stuff to distract me.
I can be spending time with friends all day, but I still feel lonely.
Why?
Because I get distracted. I still spend too much time in earthly things. Video games, Facebook, movies, television, joking around with friends, laying around, doing nothing productive. They all distract me. I idolize them all. Satan has a grip on me, and that grip is a three-toed sloth. I can't motivate myself to do anything. I've been this way my entire life. The things that, at the end of the day, don't matter always win over the things that will be important later on. This isn't something that has developed since I became a believer. Even when I was Agnostic Jared with Kung-Fu grip, I would still put video games and TV before my homework, even though I saw education as my one ticket out of the world that I was in, the world I hated. Now, I find myself feeling down, lonely, but I still won't turn over to God.
I even wasted money today on video games at GameStop. More distractions. I bought a good 30-40 hours worth of time away from God today while at the mall.
I'm going to end up playing those games when I could be talking to God, reading my Bible, praising and worshiping, reading a book on God, getting to know my friends better, helping friends or complete strangers with problems, or anything else productive. Instead of spreading love or furthering my own knowledge, I'm going to be saving a Lego Lea from the clutches of the Empire. Why do I do this to myself?
I'm writing this to vent and to remind myself. I'm writing it in the hopes that I'll receive an epiphany while typing. But, I'm also hoping that you'll see this, talk to me, get to know me, help me, and be a reminder to me, someone to keep me accountable. Thank you for reading this, and God Bless you.
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