So, I'm writing this post at 2 am. Ironically to tell you that I realized today that I should go to bed earlier. I find myself plagued with negative thoughts and actions in the small hours of the morning.
Loneliness when nobody is around
Anger towards people for not being gone when they are around
Gluttony for food when I'm not even hungry or could wait until morning
Jealousy for what others have, usually towards my friends in relationships
Fear that I'll never be able to change or that my family will never commit themselves to Christ and will be doomed to a fate beyond imagination
Why can't I control myself? Why do I find myself not instantly turning to God about all of these things?
Prayers would be greatly appreciated.
I will be praying for you Jared.
ReplyDeleteSomething ironic on my side: As I was going to bed two nights ago the thought occurred to me: "Going to bed right when I feel tired is the best way to fight temptation and anxiety the next day. I should really text Jared right now and tell him that he should really start going to bed earlier in order to avoid temptation."
But I didn't. And the thought also crossed my mind that maybe the Holy Spirit was telling me to do it, and I should listen. But I was too tired and didn't... I should've listened.
Temptation is DEFINITELY worse when we are tired. I always feel bad for going to bed early because a lot good conversations happen at night, but I know I would be turning to food WAY more often out of tiredness and anxiety if I wasn't sleeping as much as I can.